Motivational Interviewing:
When You Want to Change and Still Feel Stuck
Wanting to change something and feeling ready to change it are two different things, and the distance between them can be exhausting. You may know exactly what would make your life better and still find yourself circling the same decision for months or years, wondering why something that sounds so simple from the outside feels impossible from the inside. That gap is not a character flaw or a failure of willpower. It usually means the thing you are considering giving up is doing something real for you, and part of you knows it. Motivational Interviewing is built for exactly that place. It is a collaborative, conversation based approach that helps you sort through mixed feelings without pressure, lectures, or ultimatums, so that whatever you decide comes from you rather than from someone telling you what you should want.
Motivational Interviewing: When You Want to Change and Still Feel Stuck
Online MI Counseling in Indiana, Illinois, and Colorado
Online MI Counseling in Indiana, Illinois, and Colorado
ANTHEM | BCBS | AENTA | CIGNA
CARELON | ASCENSION | PRIVATE PAY
ANTHEM | BCBS | AETNA | CIGNA | CARELON | ASCENSION | PRIVATE PAY
What is Motivational Interviewing?
Motivational Interviewing (MI) is an evidence based approach to therapy that focuses on resolving ambivalence, the very normal experience of wanting two things at once. Part of you wants to cut back on drinking, and part of you relies on it to get through the week. Part of you wants to leave the job, and part of you cannot picture the risk. MI treats that conflict as the actual work, not as a sign that you are unmotivated or not trying hard enough.
Rather than telling you what to do, your therapist asks questions that help you hear your own reasoning out loud. Through careful listening, reflection, and open ended questions, MI draws out the motivations you already carry and helps you connect them to the things you value most. The approach rests the observation supported by decades of research that people are far more likely to follow through on change they have talked themselves into than on change someone else has argued them into.
MI is also deliberately non-confrontational. When you feel free to voice both sides honestly, ambivalence tends to loosen on its own.
What Motivational Interviewing Helps With
Motivational Interviewing is most useful when you are facing a decision or a change and feel stuck between two directions. It is commonly used for:
Substance use and drinking concerns, including cutting back rather than quitting entirely
Feeling stuck in a job, relationship, or living situation you keep almost leaving
Building consistency with health behaviors like exercise, sleep, or eating patterns
Following through on medical recommendations or treatment plans
Managing behaviors that provide short term relief at long term cost
Starting therapy when you are not sure therapy is for you
Working toward goals that keep getting set and abandoned
Feeling pressured by family, a partner, or an employer to change something you have not decided about yourself
Motivational Interviewing also works well alongside treatment for anxiety, depression, and trauma, particularly early on, when taking the first steps is the hardest part.
What Motivational Interviewing Sessions Look Like
Motivational Interviewing sessions feel more like a real conversation than a structured protocol. Your therapist listens closely, reflects back what they hear, and asks questions designed to help you explore rather than defend.
In an early session, you and your therapist will clarify what brought you in and what, if anything, you are considering changing. There is no requirement that you arrive with a goal. "I do not know if I want to change this" is a completely valid starting point.
From there, sessions typically involve:
Naming both sides of your ambivalence honestly, including the parts that feel embarrassing to say out loud
Exploring how the situation fits, or does not fit, with what you value
Noticing your own reasons for change as they surface in your language
Building confidence that change is possible, which is often the real obstacle
Turning readiness into specific, achievable next steps to get you where you want to go
Your therapist will not push you toward a decision, assign homework you did not agree to, or treat hesitation as resistance. Sessions run 50 minutes and are held entirely online through a secure, private video platform.
Motivational Interviewing’s Effectiveness
MI was developed in the 1980s by psychologists William Miller and Stephen Rollnick and has since become one of the most extensively researched approaches in behavioral health. Hundreds of clinical trials and numerous meta analyses have examined its effects, first in substance use treatment and later across a wide range of health and behavior change concerns.
Research consistently finds that MI produces meaningful improvements in substance use outcomes, treatment engagement, and follow through on health behaviors, and that these effects often appear after relatively few sessions. MI has also been shown to improve retention in therapy overall, meaning individuals who begin with an MI approach are more likely to stay in treatment long enough to benefit from it.
Its effectiveness holds across a broad range of populations and settings, and it has been widely adopted in medical care, behavioral health, and public health precisely because the approach travels well and respects the individual's right to make their own choices.
Online Motivational Interviewing in Indiana, Illinois, and Colorado
Lotus Counseling Services provides Motivational Interviewing to individuals across Indiana, Illinois, and Colorado through secure online sessions. Because MI depends on conversation and attentive listening rather than materials or in room exercises, it translates to video sessions without losing anything.
Working online also removes some of the friction that keeps people from starting. There is no commute, no waiting room, and no need to explain where you are going. For anyone weighing whether to address a sensitive concern at all, being able to have that first conversation from your own home lowers the stakes considerably.
We accept Anthem, Blue Cross Blue Shield, Aetna, Cigna, Carelon, Ascension, and many EAP plans. Private pay options are also available.
Meet Our Therapists Who Use Motivational Interviewing
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Frequently Asked Questions
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No. Motivational Interviewing was originally developed in substance use treatment, which is why it is still most associated with it, but it is now used for any situation involving ambivalence about change. That includes health behaviors, career and relationship decisions, treatment engagement, and goals that keep getting postponed.
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That is a good reason to try Motivational Interviewing rather than a reason to avoid it. The approach is designed for people who are unsure, conflicted, or only exploring the idea. Your therapist will not try to talk you into anything, and deciding not to change something is a legitimate outcome.
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Yes. Motivational Interviewing pairs naturally with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and trauma focused work. Many people begin with MI to build readiness and then move into a more structured approach.
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It is close to the opposite. Motivational Interviewing is built on the idea that advice and pressure tend to produce resistance, while being genuinely heard tends to produce movement. Your therapist's role is to help you think clearly, not to steer you toward a particular conclusion.
Ready to Take the First Step?
You've already done something brave by looking for support. Our experienced therapists are here to help you move forward, at a pace that works for you. Reach out today to get matched with a therapist and schedule your first session.
